Kasperson Kaleidoscope

I feel like I have been so neglectful lately and like I really need to put more focus on this blog.

Of course, I don't have any more time today than any other day, but I wanted to pop up a note saying 'Hi blog, I'm thinking about you.' I also want to thank Natalie for her amazing blog and the great example she is to me at keeping it up - and for providing the link for zucchini blueberry bread which I am just about to make thanks to the HUGE zuk from our garden.

Lately we've all been sick. I was the gracious one who brought it into the family and held onto it until EVERYONE else got it. Now we're starting to get better. It is just a cold, but since I also get allergies and I have asthma I hold onto things like that a lot longer than most. Although my nose is still a faucet, I'm feeling much better and I can't thank the Lord enough for just feeling normal.

I've also been thinking a lot about my girls. This past year has been so super hard for me as Eliza transitions from baby/toddler into 'big girl' aka Terrible Twos - which really have been and so far they aren't letting up even though she's been three for over a month now. I hear they really last until 4. :(

I noticed my behavior was just the same as when I tended my younger siblings when I was 12 - so I was parenting as if I was still 12. I realized I needed to grow up - a lot.

I started with prayer, scripture - you know, the 'basics'. But I didn't seem to be getting where. I did find a worksheet that I'd list Eliza's stupid behavior on, the next column was for me to write my (equally stupid) typical response, and then the magic column - what my response should/could be. A week of that really did do wonders. It made me seriously work at finding the better solution. I focused on the few things that happened all the time and sometimes I had to find multiple solutions.

I continued reading and praying - fasting when I was able. For the most part progress was painfully slow. After months I remember asking Keith why I wasn't getting anywhere. He was patient and always loving. Sometimes things just take time, especially those worth having.

After over a year of continual work I finally feel like I'm making progress. I still have good days and bad days. But I do know that it has been worth the work - and all the work to come. Being a mom is the greatest blessing I have and I am so very, eternally grateful for the opportunity I have. I know it would be so much easier to go back to work. But my children are my greatest work and I need to make sure that nothing (keeping the house clean, everyday projects, church callings) takes priority over them.

Including writing this blog. :)

I have blueberry bread waiting and a little helper who is dying to fulfill her role as my sidekick.