Aunt Belinda

On December 31, 2012 my dear Aunt Belinda passed away. She had gone in for a torn meniscus knee surgery on Dec 27. Two days later she woke up and couldn’t breathe. She told her husband to call 911. Shortly thereafter she had a heart attack. My uncle gave her chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. She was without a pulse for up to 12 minutes and went into a coma. Pulmonary Embolism (blood clots in her lungs) was the cause of the problems. Things went from bad to worse and a few days later she was declared brain-dead.

 

She was only 49. She has six children. The two oldest are married, the third returned home from his Mission (2 years serving others and teaching the gospel) and is now in college. The fourth is 18 and will be graduating high school this year. Their youngest are 11 and 7. She also had 7 miscarriages and all of her pregnancies were very difficult. She loved her children deeply – probably because each was such a sacrifice to get.

 

If I were to describe Belinda it would be vibrant, full of energy and most importantly so full of love. Love for the Savior, love for her family, and love for everyone she ever met. Being around her I could not help but feel loved. Even just talking on the phone it came through louder than the words she spoke.

 

Our last conversation we were discussing the party that was being postponed from that night (because of a snow storm) to a few days away.  We had just arrived in Utah a few days previously and had spent some time with my Mother. Belinda said she had just spoken with my mom and my mom had talked about the light in my eyes and how sweet my family was. Belinda relayed this conversation and added how excited she was to see me and how she knew what my mom said was true.

 

I’ve never felt so motivated to improve - to actually live up to those words. My feelings of inadequacy and doubt melted away because of her faith in me. She (and my mom) knew I was trying my best to be the person the Lord expects me to be and she saw that even just trying to stay true to that mission had made a difference. 

 

She was always like that though. When she spoke about others it was always with kindness. Then she turned around and took every opportunity to lift and bless those she interacted with.

 

I have a lifetime of memories of her that I cherish.

 

My first memory is from my Great-Grandmother’s funeral. After the funeral (maybe even a couple of days later, I don’t remember) we had all gathered in her family room, by the fireplace, and were just chatting. I was probably 4 or 5 years old. Somehow, somebody accidentally drew on Belinda’s leg with a ball-point pen. As they were apologizing she said not to worry, that she actually liked how it ticked. The next thing I knew Joe and I were drawing all over her legs. They were completely covered (probably ankle to knee). She had to reassure me it would all just wash off in the shower, as I was very concerned.

 

Another funny story was when we were having dinner together. She was eating Pretzel-Jell-O-Salad with Joshua (?) on her lap. He was probably just around a year old. She started into some involved story, interrupting her own bite. As the bite sat on the fork she waved her hand around with the story. Joshua was not about to let such a yummy bite sit uneaten at his mouth’s level, but because she kept waving her hands he could never quite get it. He was following the fork around, open-mouthed, trying to get it. Pretty soon everyone saw the drama unfold and started laughing. When Belinda found out what happened she teased him just a little longer then gave him the bite.

 

There were dress-up birthday parties starting with Grandma’s 1930’s Flapper theme. Then the 50’s theme at Galaxy, Geeks at Golden Coral, cats, etc. Every year we celebrated Christmas Eve with all of the kids dressed up and acting out the nativity. Attending Women’s Conference at BYU with her and Mom (2008? pictured below).

Shortly after my first miscarriage (long enough that the pain had subsided a little, and I was ready to start healing) I had the opportunity to sit with Belinda. She gave me hugs and we shed tears as she shared her experiences. She bore powerful testimony that children are a blessing from God, that He knows us, that our children know us and are watching us from above – waiting eagerly. She gave me her book, Gone Too Soon which was a great help both to me and the others I have lent it to. She understood the pain I was going through even more than I did. She truly mourned with those that mourned.

Another tender memory I have is of when I came up to see Papa shortly before he died. As I was talking to Papa she was in the kitchen making a meal for all of us (her family, including quite a few visitors, and Edie). She made soup and homemade bread, “Because it was healing to the soul.” And it truly was. I learned that when you put your soul into others it has a healing force. I’ve often heard of ‘soul food’ but until then I didn’t understand what they meant. It truly made me reconsider the every-day mundane tasks. She put her heart and soul into what she did and as a result we were more than just fed physically—we were filled body and soul to overflowing.

I miss her. I miss knowing that she was there even though I didn’t get the chance to see her often. I love her and I am so extremely grateful for the blessing she has been in my life.  I am so extremely grateful that although I feel the void she left now, I know it will one day be filled. Hopefully I will live worthily to stand by her on the other side.